Below is a series of shorts essays and thoughts from some of our missionaries about fatherhood.
Tonweya Sherman | South Dakota
“Hey daddy, can we call you daddy too”? At those words, I immediately thought “Oh no, is this going to cause some problems?” We were riding in the van collecting Sunday school children and had just picked up five boys from a two-mommy home into which they had been adopted. I hesitated because of the situation, not wanting anything to hinder our ministry. But as soon as I started to tell them to not address me as “Daddy,” God corrected me, saying, “There are no father figures in their lives, so you are an example of a father to them.”
Of the 20 to 30 kids that come regularly to our Sunday School, six of them are living with a single mom. The rest are not living with any biological parent, but with a grandparent or aunt, or in an adoptive home. The idea of family structure is not well known here.
A “normal day” in our ministry includes doing quite a number of funerals. This is a good time to connect with the family. A normal day could also Include driving three hours one way to visit someone that is in the biggest hospital because the biggest hospital is three hours away.
As a father and husband, I am saddened by many stories telling of children turned from God because their parents didn’t make their family or children a priority. We are endeavoring to find that balance through personal time spent with Dad with each child on a date. This usually happens monthly, and we also try to have concurrent quality family time. (The next couple of months we will be helping to take care of my mom in her stroke recovery. God has really touched her, and she is progressing, but still needs extra care and help.)
It is truly amazing the opportunities we have been able to have as a Christ-following family. When I look back as my time in ministry, especially as a father, I am humbled and challenged to do my best to show Christ as our true father.
Tom Tyndale | South Asia
Being a dad is the best job on earth. Dad gets to see the possibilities and challenges his children to reach beyond their limits because he can see their potential. Being a dad in a foreign field means that we get to manage “international diplomacy” when the kids have confusion (and sometimes conflicts) with their friends. In our context, the box is pretty rigid because the influence and pressure of society is so strong. People don’t go outside the box because that disrupts the harmony and predictability of life. Our family has a habit of breaking those boxes in an effort to show our best attempt of a Biblical pattern. We homeschool – and that gets a lot of questions. We have a different method of discipline – and that raises a lot of interest. We allow our kids to do unsafe and daring things, knowing they may get hurt. And we get to invite all sorts of people into our home where our kids can see and participate in ministry on our turf. Our kids create a lot of discussion, but it’s the healthy kind and people are curious to know more about the life we live because our family is so different – and fun.
But more than that is the joy of watching our children grow in their love for Jesus. As they come to faith, we have watched their sensitivities grow, their hunger for the Word get deeper, and their concern for the lost intensify. I haven’t done everything right and I have a lot to learn. But I am convinced of two things: my children are worth prioritizing as my #1 ministry, and nothing will replace the time I didn’t spend with my kids. We’re not merely raising a family that we want to take to heaven; we’re raising a quiver of arrows that we pray will impact their world, even to their grandkids and beyond.
Jacob Litchfield | Thailand
Being a father on the mission field can have its own peculiar challenges. Sometimes the children do not like their home on the field, and they miss their relatives and family so much that they aren’t happy. We are blessed that our children love living in Thailand and feel at home here. But they still need spiritual guidance and encouragement.
One thing we have emphasized to the Thai people is that ministry to our families is the most important ministry. My children are the first souls I want to win for Jesus. My children are my first and most important disciples.
Most of the time it works best for us to have family devotions in the evenings, and I look forward to these times even if I’m tired. It is enjoyable to be able to read the word together, teach the children, and hear their questions. We just finished reading through Revelation together and we had some good laughs and discussion about what certain parts mean. At one point while talking about people being judged and sent to the new Heaven and Earth, or the lake of fire, or Heaven etc., Misha piped up and said, “Wait a minute, where is everyone going?!” We had a good laugh; she’s often engaging with things in a fun way.
I don’t have all the answers about Revelation, but I am thankful for the privilege to teach them they can be confident about where they are going to spend eternity and how to walk with Jesus here and now.
Besides spiritual instruction, I try to spend time playing games or taking them places with me. I am blessed to be serving in Thailand with a family! We pray God uses us to bring God’s light to other families who need the peace of God in their homes.